In this edition of The Gift, our gifts editor muses on how to approach gifting beyond the holiday season. Plus: the best flower delivery service and what to get a friend who is moving away.
Even as a gifts editor, I don’t give presents to every friend and relative at every holiday. Far from it. This year, I had a handful of great ideas for my partner (folding hand saw, anyone?) but last year, I took a pass. My brother got a six-pack of these smoothie pouches—two servings of organic vegetables in each!—even though I didn’t have a great idea for my sister. It’s one of my truest beliefs that gifting is voluntary, not compulsory. Part of a gift’s joy is in its spontaneity and surprise, and I swear people can feel that sentiment when they unwrap.
Taking away obligation also frees up emotional energy for gifting outside of traditional holidays. I’d argue that meeting people with a gift during personal milestone moments is actually more welcome and intimate. I’m not suggesting casting about looking for reasons to give a present. I’m talking about listening. What are your loved ones texting you about? What are their top priorities? Therein lies your ideas.
And here at the top of the year is a good time to start thinking about this. It’s not a resolution per se, but as you look at your calendars and begin mapping everything out, it’s a nice time to think about bonus gifting … are there moments outside the usual ones that your loved ones could use a little something?
I like to think of gifts for people during any moment of personal transition: good, bad, and neutral. New babies and weddings, sure. But what about new jobs, big trips, freezing eggs, finishing a huge project, or finalizing a divorce? Think about what the people in your life are beginning, ending, or in process with, and consider celebrating those moments, too.
A few examples and gift ideas from my own life:
- My sister-in-law went to Spain to visit her son studying abroad this fall. It was her first trip to Europe, and she was talking a lot about her preparations in the months ahead—part excitement, part anxiety. These fancy travel containers would have made a great gift (if she hadn’t gotten them for herself). Ditto for these expandable packing cubes.
- A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. The greatest gift I can give is my support, but I’m also going to get her this Spelling Bee sweatshirt—she’s unmatched—which I think will be really cozy post-op. My new favorite sweatpants with excellent deep pockets might also be good for her. (The equally great men’s version is here.) And these nourishing frozen meals could take the pressure off family dinner for a few nights. Everyone in my house loves the chicken pesto pasta.
- Lots of women in my milieu are in the soup with fertility, in all its complexity. A piece of jewelry makes a lovely token of remembrance for anyone facing loss. I like this floral signet ring, which represents new beginnings and comes in a range of affordable metals. (A size four will fit many pinkies!) I’m also a big fan of jewelry to welcome a new arrival, too. When my daughter was born, my former work husband got me a minimal initial charm that slid right onto my everyday chain.
Of course, sometimes it’s nice to gift just because—because they’re your friend or relative, and they’re doing a great job at being just that. In that case, I’m an evangelist for luxe socks, like these cool Japanese ones. Or these strawberry tumblers would make a great gift for almost anyone, anytime. And in that spirit, I’m raising a glass to more (and less) gifting in the year ahead—whenever the people around me need it the most.
