Ranking the dogs of Elden Ring

We all know that in the world of Elden Ring, a tortoise is a dog. No, you read that correctly. The fanbase has, in an absolute knee-slapper of a running gag, somehow collectively decided to refer to every tortoise in Elden Ring as a dog. Fear not, as a werewolf is also a dog, and a wolf is a dog. From the wholesome to the evil, these furry and scaly dogs can be found everywhere across FromSoftware’s wide-open world. As such, we’ve decided to list all of the good (and not so good) dogs we’ve found in our time with Elden Ring.

1. Turtle Pope

His official name and title is Miriel, Pastor of Vows, but the fanbase has affectionally deemed him Turtle Pope. This amazing tortoise will help you study sorcery and incantations, guide you if you need absolution from sins and even give you background information on some of the important demigods in the land. A Tarnished in the world of Elden Ring couldn’t ask for a better friend. If he’s not being of active assistance, Miriel likes to nap, and seriously, who could blame him? He can be found in the Church of Vows, east of Raya Lucaria Academy.

10/10, would join religion.

2. Shell boys

A standard tortoise. There’s nothing truly special about it, except that’s it a tortoise, and every tortoise is in fact quite special. These can be found all of the land, by themselves or in small groups. If you’re looking for one early on, head to the beach near the Coastal Cave, west of the starting Site of Grace after completing the tutorial area.

9/10, keep drudging along there, kind fellow.

3. Blaidde

The half-wolf knight known as Blaidde is here for everyone who started asking themselves some questions when they saw the werewolves in Van Helsing (2004). Blaidde roams the lands with an extensive questline but can first be found at the ruins in Mistwood forest. Perched high up on the rubble, you’ll need to snap your fingers to get his attention.

8.8/10, is it hot in here?

4. Standard dogs

Regular wolves can be found in packs across the Lands Between. Most are grey with some black fur, but every now and again you’ll find an extra-tough white wolf leading a particular pack. While they mostly keep to themselves, if you get too close they’ll be happy to attack you, so speed past them on horseback.

6/10, they’re doing their best.

5. Tyrannosaurus dog

Who on this evil Earth decided this should be a thing? It looks miserable. This horrific, infected dog looks like some sort of dinosaur-dog hybrid, with an oversize head and a tendency to stand on its back legs. Keeping to themselves, they can be found in Caelid fighting surviving human forces and picking over rubble and corpses. You can get to Caelid by heading east until you hit a land besotted by Scarlet Rot, which is essentially a concentrated form of plague and fungus.

1/10, dear god, why?

More dogs to come

Elden Ring is vast game, easily the largest that FromSoftware has ever created, and there are secrets around every corner, making it one of the best Xbox games currently available. If we find any more important dogs we’ll be sure to rank them and add them to the list, though we wouldn’t expect Miriel to be losing the top spot anytime soon.