I don’t really like cake. There, I’ve said it. I don’t often speak about my odd cake aversion in public because, well, what kind of weirdo doesn’t like cake? It’s socially unacceptable. It’s the same as not liking dogs; it makes a person seem cold-hearted and essentially untrustworthy.
But my actual opinion is that cake is often too dry or too sweet or there’s too much frosting. Same goes for cupcakes — the cake-to-frosting ratio is way off, and you end up eating a tablespoon of frosting for every bite of cake. I just don’t want that much frosting. I’m already sweet enough, although some may beg to differ on that point.
There are some cakes that I like well enough, but I usually prefer other things for dessert, including (but not limited to) pie, cobbler, ice cream, chocolate mousse, crème brulee, cheesecake, pudding and Fudgsicles. I would take any of those over cake, with a few exceptions. The exceptions are: I am being offered cake and none of those other things are available.
Occasionally I’ll get a craving for a wedge of triple-decker chocolate cake or a tender carrot cake with pineapple and raisins and tangy cream cheese frosting. I’m genuinely enthusiastic about lemon poke cake. It’s an irresistible combination of tart and sweet, and the pudding in the batter makes it so moist that it doesn’t need any frosting. I also like rhubarb coffee cake because it’s full of rhubarb and has a sugary streusel topping. Basically, I prefer cake that’s not too cakey.
That’s why I adore this Apple Vanilla Cake. It’s not a very puffy cake — it’s only an inch or two thick, more like pie — and it has no frosting, just a sprinkle of sugar. But mostly I like it because there are so many juicy apple chunks. It’s not apple-flavored cake with an occasional bit of apple; there’s an apple in every mouthful, exactly as much apple as there is cake. What’s more, it’s easy to whip up and doesn’t need any complicated culinary know-how or call for unusual ingredients like Sumatran vanilla pods or twice-distilled crabapple essence or candied lark’s beak from Dangle-upon-Blobsmere in Outer Yorkshire. It’s just plain vanilla cake with a whole lot of apples. So let’s get applin’!
