It’s a bit embarrassing when friends come over and ask why I have night-lights all over the place. When I was a kid, I had night-lights because I was afraid of the dark. As an adult, I have them so I can pee late at night without turning on a light—or deal with that same sobering light if I come home late a bit drunk. Perhaps being afraid of the dark is a less embarrassing reason.
You may have seen them at a friend’s house in a hallway or bathroom or bedroom, and they may seem pretty advanced with their delicate glow and automatic adjustment to natural light, but don’t kid yourself, these are night-lights. It doesn’t matter if they’re called hallway illuminators or glow boxes. They’re just the adult version of a childish thing, like those upscale cupcake stores.
This isn’t to disparage the usefulness of night-lights to both kids and adults. The dark is totally scary, even if you’re a grown-up with a mortgage. That’s where monsters and sharp edges and things that you can stub your toe against reside. And for those times when you need a late-night pee without totally waking up, or come home at two in the morning and don’t want a mood-killing 60 watts blaring in your eyes, night-lights understand.
Night-Lights That Care
The Casper Glow Night-Light is there for you by featuring a motion sensor that gradually increases non-blinding light when it detects movement from far away, and then dims when you return to bed. Thankfully, it doesn’t notice how many times you went to the bathroom in the middle of the night and make passive-aggressive comments like, “Going again, huh?”
These MAZ-TEK night-lights let you adjust the brightness to whatever neurotic level you desire, and Maxxima offers lights that feature a swivel head, so you can point them away from your precious eyes and toward the part of the room you want illuminated, like the toilet. You definitely don’t want to go in the following morning and realize you missed.
So Many Stars
If I didn’t care about the electricity bill and money, I’d probably put a night sky projector like the Sega Toys Homestar Flux in every room at home and just leave them on all night, because I’ve always wanted to live in a planetarium. I guess I already technically do—it’s called Earth—but you know what I mean.
Devices like this and the LaView Star Projector can shoot out thousands of HD stars all over my non-HD ceiling that needs to be repainted. They can even teach you about space if you don’t mind learning things late at night. I have a strict “no learning things after 10 p.m.” policy.
So if you’re up for it, go night-light crazy as an adult. They can help manage many late-night issues, and modern ones make you feel like you’re living in Bladerunner.
