In this The Gift: Our gifting experts dish on what actually makes a great gift (spoiler, it involves listening), and what to give an 18-year-old bodybuilder.
I have a very early childhood memory of throwing a whiny fit while shopping for a classmate’s birthday. We were getting my friend the very thing I desperately wanted. What that particular thing was has long been lost to time, but what my mom said stuck: “That’s how you know it’s a great gift.” As an adult, I rarely want the literal thing I am gifting (although that’s not always the case: I still lust over the rainbow Duralex drinking glasses I once gifted my brother).
But I do often want the feeling my gift will hopefully evoke. When someone gets a gift really right, it conjures up feelings of delight, joy, and warmth. Of being deeply seen or heard. All of those profoundly human and often elusive states of being we yearn for. I now know something is a great gift when I want to feel the way I think my recipient will upon opening it. In search of more gift-giving advice, I tapped our Gifts team, experts who spend hundreds of hours every year researching and finding the best presents across the internet.
First and foremost, says senior editor Jen Hunter: Start listening. “It blows me away when someone takes note of something I’ve mentioned wanting or casually admired.” Keeping a running list in your notes app year-round is a great place to start. Eavesdrop on your loved ones: What makes their eyes go wide? What would make their lives easier? Sometimes, the thing they are always giving (Darling kitchen tchotchkes? Concert tickets? Fancy socks?) can be a great sign of what they themselves are coveting.
Listening, explains supervising editor Hannah Morrill, works so well because it’s inextricably tied to what a great gift is always actually about: surprise. Surprising because it’s something you’ve never seen before (handsome leather fly swatter, anyone?), or because someone anticipated something you didn’t know you needed, or just because you were unexpectedly thought of at all. My friend and I have gotten into the habit of sending each other the occasional bouquet for no particular reason. It’s pretty great. “There are so few surprises these days,” says Hannah. “We’re all so connected, and our phones feed us exactly what we want to see. In some ways, the humanity of surprise is more profound and essential than ever.”
Of course, all of this is a bit moot if you don’t have any ideas for, well, actual gifts to give. That’s where we’re hoping to come in. We figure if we can surprise and delight you a little bit each week with handpicked gems and some expert advice, we’ll make surprising and delighting your loved ones—and yes, yourself too—a little bit easier in turn. Now let’s go make someone’s day.
