Alright, Somebody, somewhere… Just dropped nearly $90,000 on a stale Cheeto. Not just any Cheeto, though. This one apparently looks like Charizard.
Now, I sit here, looking at my collection of comic books, action figures, and limited-edition trading cards, wondering where I went wrong. Because I thought I was deep in the collector’s game. But nope, there’s a whole other level out there where people are throwing down more cash on a spicy, oddly shaped corn puff than most people will see in a year.
Let’s break this down. According to CNN, the Cheeto, affectionately (and ridiculously) named “Cheetozard,” was slapped onto a custom Pokémon card, boxed up like it’s a damn trophy, and then auctioned off for almost 90 grand. And people fought over it! Bidding started at $250—reasonable for some weirdos—but then it skyrocketed into five figures. Five figures! For a snack that, in any normal scenario, would’ve been inhaled with a can of Mountain Dew at 2 AM.
That’s One Expensive Cheeto:
It gets better. The seller wasn’t some Pokémon superfan who stumbled upon this rare gem in a bag of Flamin’ Hots. No, a sports memorabilia company had been holding onto it since somewhere between 2018 and 2022. Just… keeping it safe, like some kind of crunchy, cheese-dusted national treasure. Then social media got hold of it, and suddenly, people lost their minds. Someone out there just had to own a Cheeto that vaguely looks like a dragon from a cartoon.
(Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images for Cheetos)And before you start thinking this is some new kind of stupidity, let’s not forget that a (gorilla) Harambe-shaped Cheeto sold for six figures back in 2017. This is a pattern. We are living in an era where snack food is apparently a viable investment. And to think that Marija thought I was strange with my comics and little man toys…
What am I doing with my life? Am I playing the wrong game? Should I just be buying bags of Cheetos and inspecting them like an archaeologist? I mean, at this point, it sounds like a smarter move than keeping my action figures in the box.
So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to buy some Cheetos. Retirement plan starts now.
Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB’s WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.
