We’re not gonna take it. We’re not gonna take it.
Screenshot by ZDNet
I’ve met quite a few Apple employees over the years and they tend to have one thing in common.
Not one mentions how much fun it is to work for Apple.
They talk of prestige and professional fulfillment, but fun? No, no, no. It’s hard work. Really hard work.
I’m concerned, therefore, that the so-called Great Resignation has caused desperation for fun to burst through some Apple employees’ pores.
I judge this from a new ad — a long new ad — emitted by Cupertino.
It shows how unhappy people are working for a large corporation.
They dread going back to the office after lunch. They loathe their cynical, venal boss. They wish they could do something more uplifting.
And finally, they do.
Of course, this particular oeuvre exists for another reason: to sell how perfectly harmonious Apple products are for startups and small businesses.
Just look how our escapees from corporate captivity can use their iPads, Macs, iPhones, Apple Watches, and other fine business products to create a wonderful new company that sells better, more environmentally friendly paper bags.
Wait, are you sure those Apple devices didn’t belong to their former company?
I could have sworn I saw them in a wonderful ad that predated this one, in which the same cast desperately tried to cope with working from home.
In this ad, though, the twisted underbelly of corporate life hangs over the scene like a (male) CEO’s overbelly wobbles under his golf shirt.
The female CEO cares only about power and money. Her arrogance is more pungent than a first-date teen’s Old Spice. She can barely remember her employees’ names. She believes only numbers do the talking.
So when she hears that her departed employees have created a new company, she thinks she can just buy it. And them.
But she’s so fundamentally joyless.
The corporate offices have chiropractic chairs, but the people inside sit pale and lifeless. Funless, even.
This ad is, at heart, a perfectly cast, lovingly shot exposé of how miserable it is working for a large company.
Just listen to the closing speech from our renegade leader: “You can keep your ridiculous deadlines. You can keep your 80-hour workweeks. And you can keep these stupid chiropractic office chairs.”
Let me hear you say yeah.
Of course, this tale has a twist — and who am I to spoil it for you?
The core of the ad, though, has a certain pro-fundity.
If you’re pro-fun, pro-enterprise, pro-spontaneity, and pro-camaraderie, large corporations may not be for you.
