Dole Sunshine Company is pleading forgiveness from above to all those who willfully flout the command of God this summer by tasting the ‘forbidden fruit.’
Dole sticks its neck out to plead with the Pope to change up the Bible
Seeking to exonerate Adam 4,000 years after being viciously maligned for taking a bite of an apple (supposedly), the campaign seeks to make a virtue out of disobedience by transmuting the original sin into the original snack.
Restoring the good name to a fruit that aids nutrition, the appeal calls on the Pope to reverse the ‘biggest PR disaster fruit has ever faced, the calamity of Original Sin’ by editing the Bible to replace the word ‘fruit’ with more obviously sinful temptations such as tobacco or alcohol.
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Pier Luigi Sigismondi, president of Dole, said: “We understand that requesting this change is a bold and provocative ask, and we of course mean no disrespect to His Holiness or the Church. We believe if we can resolve this misrepresentation of fruit, we can start a new global narrative that focuses on its benefits, and creates new, healthier eating habits that are consistent with our purpose to bring good nutrition to all.”
In the absence of any willingness to rewrite the religious text, the open letter calls for the absolution of the fruit by a ‘message of support’ from the Vatican.