Welcome to Ask Wirecutter, where deputy editor Annemarie Conte helps you figure out how to make the most of your stuff in real life. If you have a shopping conundrum for our advice columnist, submit it using this form.
Dear Wirecutter,
My neighbors are kind of the worst. They’re loud, regularly light a fire pit, and play music. Nice people in general, but just inconsiderate. Now that it’s getting warmer out and they are outside more, it feels omnipresent. I have brought this up to them a few times, and it’s not getting better. I deserve to enjoy my home just as much as they do. What can I do to help the situation?
T.C.C.
Dear T.C.C.,
I always know that something has struck a nerve when, after I drop the question in our Wirecutter Slack, our staff absolutely blows up the thread with comments. This question is running 83-responses-deep, and like most internet chats, there are a few gems of actual advice mixed in with the snark.
As with many scenarios, people will either see themselves in you (“Can I have a moment of peace, please?”) or in your neighbors (“I’m allowed to have a good time on my own property”).
I have been on both sides of this situation. I’m sure the neighbors who endured me and my friends during our senior year of college were thrilled when we moved out of their otherwise-quiet neighborhood. Karma always comes around, so of course I’ve lived adjacent to some college students whose theme parties were pretty epic.
We’re not talking about the occasional shindig here, however. What you’re describing is a regular, robust hang, which might be charming at first. But, depending on the amount of audible merriment it produces, it can become a burden for even the most vivacious of extroverts. On top of that, you’ve complained about their perpetual fire pit, which produces smoke, ash, and a woodsy aroma.
I think the situation requires a bit of awareness on both sides. There are things you and your neighbors can both do to prevent this from blowing up into a Hatfield-McCoy–style situation (for anyone unfamiliar, this was a famous Civil War–era feud, and it is now, apparently, a tourist attraction).
But while concessions can be made on both sides, the only person you can really control is yourself.
