The Minecraft Movie merchandise is nightmare fuel but I’m buying it

A Minecraft Movie launches on Apr. 4, 2025, and with it comes a bunch of merchandise designed to have your kids pestering you incessantly.

Of course, this assumes they’d want these toys without the risk of nightmares. A slew of Minecraft Movie products have landed at Amazon , and let’s just say that while some of it might strike a chord with collectors, most of it is an acquired taste.

The Minecraft Movie toys are really disappointing

When the first Minecraft Movie trailer dropped, I joined the chorus of fans calling it a cursed interpretation of one of my family’s favorite games.

However, the second trailer turned things around a bit. It was fun, enough to give me hope that the movie might actually work.

Naturally, I started wondering about the inevitable merch to come, and looked forward to expanding my son’s Minecraft collection. But after seeing the toy lineup? I think my money is mostly safe.

The figurines are certainly interesting compared to previous merchandise we’ve seen.

Rather than leaning into the blocky charm of the game, they’ve been given “realistic” features that look unsettling to say the least.

Steve’s figurine, for instance, is Jack Black’s portrayal of the character and doesn’t even look a lot like Jack Black if I’m being real.

Speaking of Jack Black, his performance as Steve in the trailers has been… him playing himself in a blue t-shirt. It’s basically Jack Black being Jack Black.

Don’t get me wrong, the line “I’ve always longed for the mines” was hilarious and sold me on his delivery, but my son has no clue who Jack Black is and toy-wise will just want the Steve he recognizes from the game.

I’m sure adult fans will appreciate the collectible nature of a Jack Black Steve action figure, though, and actually the Jack Black Pez dispenser is kind of cool—but for younger fans, the stock photos of children playing happily with their middle-aged bloke action figure aren’t convincing me.

It’s not all bad and I did purchase one thing

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There are a few interesting items among the bizarre range. My son’s favorite Minecraft creature, the wolf, makes an appearance as a plush toy.

The Minecraft Movie wolf plush comes in two versions: basic and interactive. The interactive version of ‘Dennis’ growls and barks switching from feral to tame mode, but it’s a hefty $63 and isn’t available for pre-order in the U.S. yet.

The basic plush, priced at a much more reasonable $10, is thankfully already available in the UK and yes I’ve bought it. Fingers crossed it makes its way stateside soon.

The Creeper plush is also worth a mention. It’s got an unusual texture that’s more fuzzy than the one we already have, but it retains enough of the classic look to charm younger fans.

It’s a step up from the Creeper action figure, which somehow manages to look like an angry melted candle..

Also worth pointing out is these nifty Lego sets from $49.99 at Amazon, which if your kid (or you) are into Lego don’t look all that bad.

There’s cursed Minecraft Movie popcorn buckets too!

These Creeper popcorn buckets and cups are pretty cool, but the pink sheep ‘baah-ket’ is most definitely something you don’t want to be looking at in the dark.

These were announced as available at Regal Cinemas but will likely be at most theatres showing the movie.

If you order your Minecraft Movie tickets in advance, you can also get a free in-game jetpack. Head over to purchase ‘A Minecraft Movie’ tickets at Fandango.com to secure your goodies.

A mix of Minecraft emotions

The Minecraft Movie merchandise is definitely a mixed bag with some uncanny valley-style interpretations of our favorite mobs, but I’m genuinely excited for A Minecraft Movie to hit cinemas.

I’ve got two kids (one 16 and one 4), and both of them love the game. It’s one of the few things that can bridge their age gap and get them playing together.

My eldest and I attended MineCon in London way back in 2015, a memory we both treasure. Now, his younger brother is in the thick of his own Minecraft phase, sharing the same enthusiasm but with fewer real-life events to enjoy—at least in the UK.

That’s set to change soon, though, with the opening of new Minecraft theme parks and the hopeful expansion of the Minecraft Experience.

These projects will give younger fans like my kids something tangible to connect with, beyond just the Minecraft marketplace and spending my money on Minecoins.

It’s genuinely lovely to think that a new generation of players will have their own special memories tied to this game, thanks to the movie launching soon.